Monthly Archives: January 2013
Workout Playlist #9
1) Flo Rida – Whistle Songs about blowjobs, lol. 2) Silversun Pickups – The Pit This guy’s voice has never particularly blown my skirt up, but this song is just so intense and funky. 3) Cee-Lo Green – Bright Lights Big City I feel like a complete superstar when I hear this intro. 4) Asia – Heat of the […]
Num nums
Guys, this is really serious. It’s essential. It’s dire. It’s dessert. These are the recipes I keep hidden in the back of the recipe binder, lest I be tempted to break them out every single week. The kind that have nary an egg replacer or a cup of applesauce in sight. The kind that will […]
Oh yes! Yes! YES!
Scenario: You’re lying there in the bed/hammock/life raft with your significant other/friend with benefits/local congressman. He’s puffing away like an angry warthog, drops of sizzling sweat oozing from his pores. You are starting to get a cramp in your right hamstring. The floorboards are creaking. Your stomachs are slapping together wetly as he labors endlessly. […]
Workout Playlist #8
1) The Police – Roxanne Ever heard of the Roxanne drinking game? Divide the room into two teams. One team drinks whenever they sing the word “Roxanne.” The other teams drinks when they sing “put on the red light.” And everybody wins. 2) The Foo Fighters – Darling Nikki This is actually a cover of a Prince […]
Laigs
Gurl, I wanna talk boutcho laigs! Translation: I’m feeling extra sassy today cause I had a great leg workout earlier. I’ve talked before about my favorite compound exercises, which work out almost all the muscles in your whole body. I maintain that squats are one of the best exercises for overall strength building, and that […]
A Lady’s Guide to Being Fancy Fresh
I’ve briefly touched upon the subject of men’s versus women’s products when I waxed rhapsodic about lady-part shaving a few weeks ago. I felt it deserved a more in-depth post, since this is, in my opinion, one of the most outrageous conspiracies of our society. This conspiracy is as follows: Personal products that are geared […]
Workout Playlist #7
1) Jet Black Stare – Ready to Roll In the dictionary, under the definition of “rock and roll,” there is a photo of this song. Wait, what? 2) Disney’s The Little Mermaid – Under the Sea Sing it, Sebastian. 3) The Starting Line – Best of Me The gee-tar in this track is sharp and piercing, […]
An Open Letter to Rihanna
First of all, Rihanna, I love you. I think you’re talented. And your hair is great. And you don’t give a flying fuck what anyone thinks of you. And why should you? As a celebrity, people are always going to be judging you. Opinions about the clothes you wear, the food you eat and the […]
Courting Like a Penurious Lady
I have a total bone to pick with these asinine “women’s publications” that plague our bookstands and drugstore racks these days. I won’t even get into the ridiculous sex advice they give, for the wound is still too painful. Some of the most offensive myths they like to propagate are on the subject of dating. […]
Workout Playlist #6
1) Nicki Minaj – Va Va Voom Nicki! She’s kind of growly and fierce in this one, and it makes my loins tingle. 2) Disney’s Mulan – Make a Man Out Of You This song really puts hair on your chest. So to speak. 3) Eminem – The Real Slim Shady One of my favs […]
A Lady's Guide to Existence 