Monthly Archives: March 2013

How Harry Potter Cockblocked our Fantasies

Not too long ago, there was a rumor going around that Emma Watson was going to play the main character in the ill-advised 50 Shades of Gray movie that is apparently happening, much to my dismay. Watson, like the perfect lady that she always has been, dispelled the rumor on Twitter and managed to get […]

Workout Playlist #17: Broadway Edition Part 2!

1) Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat – Go, Go, Go Joseph If your name is Joseph, this song is extra motivational. 2) Chess – Nobody’s Side When ABBA writes a musical, you know it’s gotta be good. 3) Miss Saigon – The Heat is On in Saigon Where Saigon = YOUR TREADMILL, OHHHHHHHH 4) […]

Iron Woman

Having your period is no fun for a lot of reasons. Your breasts feel like Dkembe Mutombo has been playing bongos on them all day. You spend a lot of time in bathroom stalls with your legs spread, one hand fumbling around in your crotch like a blind man trying to disarm an explosive. Every time […]

Take a Look, It’s in a Book…

I love to read! It makes me feel all warm and squishy inside. Lately I’ve been lamenting how few books have been written in the last ten years or so that I actually liked. Heroes and heroines seem so formulaic these days, plots are contrived, and the writing is comparable to the proverbial thousand monkeys […]

The Ultimate Guide to Behaving Like a Lady at the Gym, Part Deux

You may find it strange that there are so many ways a woman can mortally offend the other gymgoers with whom she has contact on a daily basis. After all, we are women, not men. We smell nicer, have more common sense, and can go to the bathroom and take a shit without having to […]

Workout Playlist #16

1) Amy Winehouse – Rehab 3:42 If only this woman had treated us to more of her raspy, soulful tones before her untimely demise. 2) Jimmy Eat World – Sweetness 3:40 This whole album is a fireworks show of beautiful harmonies and twangy guitar. 3) The Beatles – Ob-La-Di Ob-la-Da 3:12 So upbeat, so flippant, perhaps even a […]

A Lady’s Guide to Vagina Gazing

Your vagina. You are aware of its existence. You wash it every day. You gird it in cute cotton panties with rubber duckies on them that you got at Kohl’s. Perhaps you even take a razor to it sometimes to give it a little bit of a groom. It bleeds, and you have to plug […]