Monthly Archives: December 2013

The Red Vag of Courage

I recently purchased a “jumbo-sized” box of tampons at the grocery store, simply because they were temporarily out of the regular-sized boxes. I felt somewhat awkward about this purchase, hoping the cashier would not think that I had some vast, unstoppable flow that was gushing out of me like a fire hydrant. I am aware […]

10 Easy Ways to Be a Lady in Church Tonight

A very merry Christmas to those of you who are, at this very moment, no doubt picking up a last-minute tea cozy for your great aunt Ethel! Many of us are (whether voluntarily or through coercion) going to be attending a service at a house of worship this evening, so that tomorrow we can spend […]

Workout Playlist #32

1) Hoobastank – Crawling in the Dark Sometimes I’m like, “Go home, Hoobastank. You’re drunk.” And then sometimes I’m like, “Stick around for another drink, Hoobastank. The night is young.” 2) A Day to Remember – Right Back At It Again ADTR keeps you guessing with fun lyrics, ever-changing drumbeats and uniquely catchy melodies. 3) […]

Why is (Perfume) A “Girl Thing”?

The term “cologne” actually has a very specific meaning. It refers to a specific blend of fragrances produced in Cologne, Germany and prominently featuring a mixture of citrus oils. Nowadays, the term has become a more general denotation of any liquid that sixth-grade boys pour over their balls in the morning in lieu of a […]

Cake or Death

My mom and I are basically the biggest inhaler-wielding nerds on the planet. I have a nut allergy that makes me puff up like a blowfish if anyone puts their nuts near my face (which, believe me, I have been hearing jokes about since we were way too young to even understand what they meant) […]