Category Products

What’s in my Gym Bag – 2015 Edition

Way back in May of 2013, I did a post on what was in my gym bag. I figured it was time for an update, since I know you are all sitting on the edge of your seats, anxiously awaiting updates about all the smelly equipment I lug around with me. Ask, and ye shall […]

The Commoner’s Companion to Gwyneth Paltrow’s 2014 Holiday Gift Guide

It’s that magical time of year again, folks! That time when Gwyneth Paltrow, the world’s most out-of-touch celebrity, puts out her annual Gift Guide on her website, affectionately known as GOOP. I couldn’t help but treat myself to a little perusal of her recommendations, including the usual $800 bandanas (not a typo) and purses that […]

Why is (Perfume) A “Girl Thing”?

The term “cologne” actually has a very specific meaning. It refers to a specific blend of fragrances produced in Cologne, Germany and prominently featuring a mixture of citrus oils. Nowadays, the term has become a more general denotation of any liquid that sixth-grade boys pour over their balls in the morning in lieu of a […]

Greased Lightning – Part 2

Astroglide Base: Water. Claim to fame: “Real Pleasure – Lasts Longer” Texture: Pretty runny, enough to drip and run all over the place, but thick enough where it coats the area and lays on top of the skin in a slippery layer. Smell: None. Performance: A little bit goes a very long way and manages […]

A Lady’s Gift Guide

Today, because it is as far from Christmas as it is possible to be, let’s do a gift guide! That makes sense, right? But seriously, you probably failed miserably on Mother’s Day. Don’t screw up again for your Dad. He’s counting on you to deliver some righteous booty to his door. That didn’t come out […]

What’s In My Gym Bag

Besides the handcuffs and chloroform, of course. I thought you might want to see what’s in my gym bag, partly because it is huge and I feel as though I need to justify my excessive use of bag space by showing you all the exceedingly important things I tote around with me, but also because […]

Greased Lightning

Let’s talk about lube! If I were stranded on a desert island with an attractive man, my top 5 required items would be: 1) Fig Newtons 2) The complete works of William Shakespeare 3) A crossbow 4) Burt’s Bee’s chapstick 5) Lub. Ri. Cation. Not necessarily in that order. Also, if there’s no attractive man, […]