Category A Lady’s Guide

A Lady’s Guide to Fake Phone Numbers

We’ve all been there: You’re having a few drinks at the bar and some meathead won’t leave you alone. He’s been chatting you up all night, trying to buy you drinks, asking you if you have a boyfriend. All you can think about is how to get rid of him so you can enjoy your […]

A Lady’s Guide to Being Offended

Today I would like to talk about being offended. It’s very popular to be offended nowadays. There are several reasons for this. The most obvious reason is that many fucking offensive things are happening, particularly to women, on a daily basis. We have every right to voice our outrage about these issues. The other reason, […]

A Lady’s Guide to Waxing Part Two

You may recall, especially if you have nothing better to do than sit around in your beanbag chair all day reading crotchety feminist blogs in your underoos, that I previously did a guide to self-waxing featuring the Nair sugar wax kit and titled it “A Lady’s Guide to Waxing,” aimed toward all those of you […]

A Lady’s Guide to Compliments

The other day, I came in to work in the morning and noticed the dress my friend was wearing. Immediately, I said to her, “That is such a cute dress.” “Thank you!” she beamed, as I instantly realized: I really don’t even like the dress that much. I gave my friend a compliment about her dress […]

A Lady’s Guide to (More) Whey Protein

As I have mentioned before, I am a fan of protein powder. It helps me fill in my protein macros for the day, and it’s a good on-the-go emergency meal or snack for days when I fucking forgot my lunch bag on the kitchen counter and now I’m already on the highway and if I […]

A Lady’s Guide to Posture

WHERE MY TALL LADIES AT?! Tall girl problems, am I right? Pant cuffs stop mid-calf when you sat down. Short people are constantly asking you to get things down from shelves for them like a bunch of helpless babes. You are constantly bumping your head on door lintels designed with toddlers in mind. And worst of […]

A Lady’s Guide to Deglutition

ATTENTION: This post is exceptionally NSFW. And also NSF school. And also NSF public transportation. Basically, read it alone, under cover of darkness, preferably clad only in a skimpy negligee. Thank you for your compliance. If you’re anything like me, you sometimes like to be taken to the candy shop, and possibly even allowed to lick […]