Monthly Archives: March 2015

An AB-onimable Workout

Puns, they’re wholesome American fun! As I’ve said before, people overwork their abs, thinking that excessive ab workouts will give them a six-pack. This is unequivocally false. The only thing that will ever get you a six-pack is some hard ass work in the kitchen, not the gym. Be prepared to trek down a long, […]

What a Flat Tire Taught Me About Feminism

Pull up your blankies and your bowl of popcorn, cause it’s… STORY TIME! So the other day, I got a flat tire. I know, you’re riveted. Stay with me. I have roadside assistance, so I called them up and explained the situation. While doing so, a thought crossed my mind: I have the donut. I […]

If Pizza is a Vegetable, So is Cake.

Sometimes I want to eat vegetables. Sometimes I want to eat dessert. Sometimes I want to eat a whole jar of pickles and follow it up with a Chipwich from the 7-11 while crying on the couch watching The Labyrinth. And I’m not even pregnant yet. Anyway, when the desire for fiber and the desire […]