Category Sex

A Lady’s Guide to Deglutition

ATTENTION: This post is exceptionally NSFW. And also NSF school. And also NSF public transportation. Basically, read it alone, under cover of darkness, preferably clad only in a skimpy negligee. Thank you for your compliance. If you’re anything like me, you sometimes like to be taken to the candy shop, and possibly even allowed to lick […]

Hell-Bent on Consent

If you haven’t seen Frozen by now, there really is no help for you. Especially since it’s enjoyed such wonderful conversation surrounding it’s female-power message. The more I watch it (the tally is now at an embarrassing number), the more I love the final scene. SPOILER ALERT OBVIOUSLY IF YOU HAVENT SEEN IT WHICH YOU […]

Lord of the Flings

It always comforts me in my hour of need to hear people tell terrible stories about past hookups. It is that moment when you sneeze in the face of the person you’re boning, or when your grandmother walks in on your threesome, that feeling is the very crux of human existence. The bone-deep, mind-melting humiliation […]

Greased Lightning – Part 2

Astroglide Base: Water. Claim to fame: “Real Pleasure – Lasts Longer” Texture: Pretty runny, enough to drip and run all over the place, but thick enough where it coats the area and lays on top of the skin in a slippery layer. Smell: None. Performance: A little bit goes a very long way and manages […]

Stop Lying to Yourself: Sex Edition

This is sex, people. It’s no place for self-deception. 1) Mental Adultery Your partner is thinking about other people while you fuck. It’s a fact of life. Why would they think about you? You’re right there in front of them. They already snagged you. They are now fantasizing about territories untrodden – Angelina Jolie, or […]

On “Taking One for the Team”

If you have ever been in a serious relationship, you know that one of the hardest things about sharing your life with another person is syncing up your sexual schedules. Often, the desire to make love will be mutual, or will at least follow from the initiation of activity, but many times you will not […]

Greased Lightning

Let’s talk about lube! If I were stranded on a desert island with an attractive man, my top 5 required items would be: 1) Fig Newtons 2) The complete works of William Shakespeare 3) A crossbow 4) Burt’s Bee’s chapstick 5) Lub. Ri. Cation. Not necessarily in that order. Also, if there’s no attractive man, […]