Good news, guys! Sexism is completely over! That’s right – no more inequality between men and women socially, in the workplace, or otherwise. We’ve completely solved it. Men and women now have equal rights in every situation, in every aspect of our lives. We should all be proud! We’ve done a great job eradicating prejudice and […]

1) My Chemical Romance – I’m Not Okay There are two kinds of people: those who secretly love My Chemical Romance, and liars. 2) Iron Maiden – Run to the Hills I’ve never heard Bruce Dickinson sound so much like Dio as he does in this song. NOT complaining. 3) Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars […]

Puns, they’re wholesome American fun! As I’ve said before, people overwork their abs, thinking that excessive ab workouts will give them a six-pack. This is unequivocally false. The only thing that will ever get you a six-pack is some hard ass work in the kitchen, not the gym. Be prepared to trek down a long, […]

Pull up your blankies and your bowl of popcorn, cause it’s… STORY TIME! So the other day, I got a flat tire. I know, you’re riveted. Stay with me. I have roadside assistance, so I called them up and explained the situation. While doing so, a thought crossed my mind: I have the donut. I […]

Sometimes I want to eat vegetables. Sometimes I want to eat dessert. Sometimes I want to eat a whole jar of pickles and follow it up with a Chipwich from the 7-11 while crying on the couch watching The Labyrinth. And I’m not even pregnant yet. Anyway, when the desire for fiber and the desire […]

1) Clean Bandit – Rather Be Why not start out with a funky dance track? This one is getting a lot of play on the radio lately, but it somewhat smacks of the 80’s to me. 2) Catfish and the Bottlemen – Kathleen The award for most cumbersome band name goes to Catfish and the Bottlemen, but […]

We’ve all been there: You’re having a few drinks at the bar and some meathead won’t leave you alone. He’s been chatting you up all night, trying to buy you drinks, asking you if you have a boyfriend. All you can think about is how to get rid of him so you can enjoy your […]