Homemade Caramel DeLites

It’s almost Girl Scout Cookie season!

I fully support the GSA. Their mission and their work with young girls is inspiring and commendable. I am certainly not opposed to buying a couple boxes of cookies every year to support their organization.

But I do not know anyone who has GSA-aged daughters. And there comes a point at which I am tired of tracking down young girls in my neighborhood and cornering them with a twenty-dollar bill clutched in my fist. It sends the wrong message.

So I figured, why not find a recipe for everyone’s favorite Girl Scout cookie, the Caramel DeLite? I promise these babies are actually a snap to make, and you’ll have enough to share with everyone!

Let’s get started!

Ingredients

For the cookies:

 

½ cup sugar

¾ cup salted butter, room temperature

1 egg, room temperature

½ tsp vanilla

2 cups all-purpose flour

 

For the topping:

 

8 oz chocolate chips

7 T milk or cream

1 bag shredded coconut

8 oz caramels (like the Kraft kind)

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Begin by preheating your oven to 350. To start, you’ll want to cream together your butter and your sugar. I didn’t use a hand mixer, because I am too lazy to pull mine out. Although, ironically, I am not too lazy to beat butter and sugar by hand. Go figure.

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Next, you’ll add in your egg and stir. Here is where you would add vanilla, IF I HAD ANY! But I didn’t, so I left it out. Ultimately, there are going to be so many flavors going on, we won’t really need it anyway.

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Finally, dump in your flour and stir it all together. It should be pretty crumbly.

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Now, our cookies are going to be in bar form, not little donut shapes. Why? Because you are a grown-ass woman and ain’t got no time for that shit. So line a 9×13 baking sheet with parchment paper. (NOT wax paper – I have made that mistake before.) Dump the cookie dough onto the sheet and flatten it out with your hands. It should cover just about the whole sheet.

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Before you put this in the oven, crack open your coconut. You’re going to toast it at the same time you bake your dough. Line another sheet with parchment paper and dump the coconut on, spreading it out evenly. I found that I didn’t need the whole bag.

Pop both pans in the oven for 12 minutes, but DON’T YOU DARE walk away. You’re going to need to stir your coconut every three minutes, or it will burn. Regrettably, I neglected to nurture my coconut adequately, and ended up having to trash some of it. Thus, my emphatic command to stir.

When your 12 minutes is up, take both your pans out and let the cookies and the coconut both come to room temperature. Having achieved that, you’re going to start your caramel!

Unwrap all your Kraft caramels, lamenting the abominable waste of plastic packing for each one, and put them in a bowl. You’ll only need about half the caramels in the bag, if you buy a 16-ounce bag, which you did because they don’t come in other sizes. Then, pour 3 Tablespoons of cream over them and pop them in the microwave. After 30 seconds, take them out and stir them with a spoon, then put them in for thirty more seconds. This prevents them from hardening into magma that will ruin your favorite mixing bowl forever and ever. My caramels took about four thirty-second turns to fully melt.

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Once the caramels are melted, dump in your burned toasted coconut and stir it up. Then, moving with haste, pour this mixture over your cooled cookies and spread it.

Now that’s done, you need to melt your chocolate chips. I used about half of a 16-ounce bag, hence the 8-ounce measurement. Dump them into a bowl and pour about 4 Tablespoons of cream over them. Microwave the chocolate for about 20 seconds, then stir.

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Repeat this a couple of times until the chocolate is nice and runny, then drizzle it over the top of the caramel/coconut mixture.

Now all you have to do is chop this monstrosity into manageable, cookie-sized pieces.

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Holy shit! Girl scout cookies!

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